Even though I have taken the boy all over the country to all sorts of places Alton Towers was not really on my radar as I simply discounted it as not age appropriate. We came close to going when they opened the hotel, and waterpark, which runs term-time specials for toddlers and their carers, but never got around to actually arranging a visit.

Then over the summer, some of our friends, who have a daughter nine months younger than my son, told me about what a great time they had at Britain’s biggest theme park. The thought of taking Max quickly entered my head, that is, after I had stopped teasing my friend’s daughter about ‘Alton Flowers’. “It’s called Alton Towers, not Alton Flowers silly,” she would say. “Then why did you call it Alton Flowers?” Was my jovial (or should that be juvenile?) retort.

So when Play and Stay offered to send us, I was intrigued to find out how much fun the Alton Towers Resort could be for a near five-year-old and his dad.

On arrival we discovered it is still extremely well organised, and also still a decent walk from the car park, but there is the monorail which I suppose counts as your first ride of the day.

If you’re feeling extra flush you have the option to pay £15 for priority parking, which means you can park right outside the entrance to the park. But as I am tight, I opted for the normal parking which still costs £5, which I must admit to still being a little miffed by.

Once inside we headed down Towers Street, and turned right for Adventure Land, which seemed like a great place to start for us. It turned out I was right. After a quick toilet break we were straight into the Berry Bish Bash, which is a sort of soft play area combined with firing squidgy balls at each other. My son thought this was hilarious, especially as one of the biggest targets – and thus most popular – appeared to be his dad. We also went on Old MacDonald’s Tractors, which I thought a little tame, but my boy obviously enjoyed pretending to drive a tractor.

The Beastie was higher octane, and we both enjoyed being thrown around on that. A quick drink and climb on some playground equipment, and it was time for lunch.  The excellent map lays out the great food choices available, and I opted to bribe my son with a KFC, in exchange for him thinking about going on Enterprise, a ride I had identified as enjoyable for me, and that he passed the minimum height requirement for. Sadly, while he agreed to go and have a look, his hesitance – and the queue – put me off.

No matter, as there were plenty of other rides for us to enjoy. We had a good time on the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ride, the Peugeot Driving School was an instant favourite for him, and there were more soft play adventures within Cloud Cuckoo Land.

Since being damaged by fire, the Skyride is still out of action, which is a mild irritation legs can get tired walking over the vast area the park occupies.

Alton Towers has an impressive Sea Life centre

The obligatory water ride came in the form of the Battle Galleons, a very funny concept that lets you fire water cannons at targets and other parkgoers as your boat travels around. Our cagoules instantly became an excellent idea. After this, we needed warming up and, after fumbling for the right change, used one of the giant dryers. It was also an apt time to go and have a look around Sharkbait Reef, a new attraction for 2009, completed in collaboration with Sea-Life.

This centre adds to those we have visited in Birmingham and on Anglesey, and had a number of different attractions we had not seen before, which was an added bonus.

At Alton Towers there were plenty of rides we did not get to go on, like the Runaway Mine Train and the Rapids, but I fully expect to go back at some point and give them a try then.

Read more about Single Parent Dad at http://singleparentdad.blogspot.com

First up is Sally Whittle, mummy blogger extraordinaire at Who’s The Mummy where she discusses life with four-year old daughter Flea.

Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below and if you want to join our select panel of bloggers then get in touch.

I have this theory about parenting. Faced with the awesome responsibility of not raising a serial killer, new parents latch on to anyone who can tell us the “right” stuff to do. That’s why we spend £5 a week on classes to help our children walk along a bench in a straight line, or to hit a tambourine.

But when you think about it, the things that are the most fun aren’t usually organised. They’re almost certainly not the sorts of things that are designed to boost your child’s development or give them a head start. Flea and I did the activity class thing, but it’s fair to say she’s not big on organised fun.

At swimming class, Flea didn’t want to take her float off – which is pretty smart when you think about it because she was 18 months old and couldn’t swim. It’s hard to fault that kind of logic, really.

At a musical group, she didn’t understand why we kept listening to nursery rhymes, and repeatedly asked, “When are we having some guitar music?” That’d be my fault for introducing her to The Smiths, then.

Perhaps our most traumatic experience was at a language skills class, when Flea made the grave error of talking when it was time for listening. The look the class leader fixed poor Flea with reduced her to tears.

These days we’re big believers in disorganised fun. We’ve created a special bag that lives in the car, and it’s called The Adventure Bag. Inside The Adventure Bag is everything we need to go off and have fun somewhere. There’s a picnic blanket, water bottle, spare set of clothes and our camera. There’s also a Spider-Man figure and three small dinosaurs. Because you should always have a dinosaur or two on your side when you’re having adventures.

Over breakfast, Flea and I think about what we’d like to do. While I’m drinking coffee, Flea likes nothing more than considering her options, and will eventually say, “Mummy, I’ve got a brilliant idea.” Our adventures this year have included visiting museums, exploring the Lake District, various zoos and safari parks, numerous beaches, one theme park and one day when the GPS broke down, the town of Harrogate (we were supposed to be in Ilkley, I’m still not completely sure what went wrong).

Wherever we go, we buy a small badge or pin, and stick it on The Adventure Bag. Over the years, I hope the bag will become covered in images that are a visual record of all the places we’ve been together. Already, the bag holds lots of lovely memories of the first place Flea went sailing, the day she discovered dinosaur bones, the long afternoon we spent having a barbecue on Brighton beach and the day we went to Chester Zoo and spent the entire day looking at different varieties of monkey.

I figure that when Flea is a teenager and would rather poke herself in the eye than be seen in public with her mother, I’ll have all those memories of our adventures, thanks to The Adventure Bag. And you know what? I bet those memories will be a lot better than anything involving church halls and a tambourine.

Though it may come as welcome relief for parents whose children suffer from attention-deficit disorders, teachers have hit out at the move, saying that it undermines their efforts to teach children how to be patient.

The question is: are teachers right to criticise the scheme?

A difficult one, isn’t it?

Not for Andrea Bilbow, it isn’t. The chief executive of the National Attention Deficit Disorder Information and Support Service (ADDISS for short) has clearly made up her mind on the issue. She reacted rather glibly to the teachers’ growing concern by telling The Times: “I know many primary schools let children with ADHD go ahead at dinner time and it stops scenes, what’s the problem?” She even hinted that “criticism of the tactic showed that teachers were ignorant of the condition”.

Blimey.

Bilbow explains: “Children with ADHD are very impulsive and just can’t cope in a queue or when there is a delay in gratification”.

Fair enough, I suppose; I mean, when you put it like that. But then, shouldn’t kids with ADHD learn to deal with having to wait for things? When will they learn otherwise? You can’t be 36 and just barge in at the front of the queue in Homebase – someone will tip a load of compost down the back of your jumper or something.

Now, I wouldn’t even pretend to know the complex ins and outs of dealing with a condition like ADHD, but just the teensiest bit Googling will throw up all sorts of criticisms over the stance taken by Ms Bilbow. It’s a contentious, if not rather grisly topic.

The Disability Discrimination Act currently puts the onus on the attractions to accommodate all visitors. Theme parks around the EU are somewhat forced, therefore, to follow government orders.

Thorpe Park are being very diplomatic about the whole affair. A spokesperson for the Surrey-based theme park told The Times: “Any guest that can provide a letter from their doctor that describes their illness or disability and states that they cannot stand in a queue is provided with a priority wristband.”

That, I suppose, is the fairest way to broach the subject for the time being. But what about the future? Should kids with attention-deficit disorder be allowed to skip in front of everyone else just because they can’t be patient? I mean, how many six-year-olds do you know that have the patience of a saint? My mum and dad had to stop buying me advent calendars when I was about eight because I used to scoff all 24 chocolates by noon on December 3. Of course, the counter argument is just as telling: should ADHD kids be forced to wait around in line, regardless of how much torrid distress they’re put through?

It’s a tough call, certainly. We’d love to hear what you think though.

Somewhat intrigued by the idea of a theme park based around the Ferrari, I went on a mission — to find a selection of other weird, wonderful and fascinating amusements parks. So brace yourself for robots, aliens, Lego and much more as I reveal my findings….

LEGOLAND:

Legoland Resort

Oh LEGOLAND! A family favourite and one I could not miss from this blog. Children over the years have had great fun building all sorts of wonderful Lego creations. So, what a great idea to turn a childhood favourite toy into a unique theme for an amusement park.

LEGOLAND has proven extremely popular worldwide with parks located in Germany, England, Denmark and the United States. Malaysia is also set to jump on the LEGOLAND bandwagon by 2012.

Suoi Tien Park:

Suoi Tien Resort

Diverting from Lego, I take you to Suoi Tien Park, a land of bright colours and Buddhas! Yes that’s right, this unusually themed park is based around the Buddhist religion.

Aptly named attractions such as Heaven Palace have somewhat distorted my previous conception of Heaven. I pictured chillaxing on clouds, however, here you splash around in a water park designed to look like the afterlife.

Think that sounds quirky? Well what about Hell Palace, similar but with frowning statues? Now I don’t know about you but I’m not sure if I could “let my hair down” and have fun if I am being glared at by sculptures. Will I face judgement if I visited Hell Palace over Heaven Palace? Where are the terms and conditions for this place?

On a happier note, the Tien Dong beach features an impressive sculpted waterfall, bearing the face of an emperor and you can even head over to Crocodile Kingdom, where you can feed some of the 1,500 live crocodiles. What this has to do with Buddha I don’t know.

Alien Apex Resort:

Alien Apex Resort

I never thought I would write about Lego, Buddha and aliens on the same day, but here I am. Fancy taking a trip to Roswell, New Mexico in 2010 for the opening of the Alien Apex Resort? I know what you’re thinking; how original! Yes I am afraid there are plans to place Roswell at the heart of alien activity once again after the famous incident in 1947.

Nevertheless the UFO-themed amusement park is said to include an indoor rollercoaster that’ll take passengers on a simulated alien abduction, which does sound sort of cool providing there’s no probing involved.

Robot Theme Park:

Robot Theme Park

Now, this I had to include. South Korea are intending to build two robot theme parks, with the first to be finished in 2013. Yes 2013 is a little while off but after all the theme is pretty “futuristic” (ha, at least I make myself laugh).

Robots are used in the nation’s key industries and the government are keen to promote the robotics industry. Apparently you will be able to see (what I can only picture as R2-D2 look alikes) compete in various events. Nothing screams “good day out” like watching robots in battle… right?

So there you have it, a selection of weird yet wonderful theme parks which exist or should exist soon. The question remains, what theme would you like to see as the basis for an amusement park?

Now, if you ask me – and no, no one has – this piece of legislation is long, long-overdue. The Speedo look might just pass on the Continent, but in Blighty it’s a bit rich isn’t it? Plummeting temperatures, the threat of a downpour constantly hanging over us like a drizzly sword of Damocles? Give it a rest. Those alpha males who took to Alton Towers in little more than a pair of briefs no bigger than your average train ticket must surely have been northerners, because, as a rather delicate southerner, there is simply no way I’d brave the outside after a dip in the pool in anything less than a full-body wetsuit, a scarf and thick woolen mittens.

Anyway, that rather grisly episode is behind us all now: history has closed the page on that menacing chapter.

The only question that remains is: why stop there?

Below is a list of things I’d like to see banned from Alton Towers. Feel free to tack some on at the end. We’ll get a list together, then I’m writing to Mr Towers…

Everybody loves a good poncho

Right, first up, I’d ban the selling, acquisition and the donning thereof of ponchos. I’m not talking about genuine ponchos, you understand; I’m not having a dig at the Hispanic overcoat of choice. No, I’m talking about the sorry excuses for ponchos that get handed around every time it gets a little bit damp. They are, effectively, shopping bags with eye-holes cut in. There is simply no way that one could protect you from one of Mrs Tittlemouse’s delicate sneezes, let alone a gale force storm. It’s preposterous:

Dad: The heavens have opened, let’s take shelter!
Mum: Don’t worry dear, I’ve got three-and-a-half yards of cling film here.

No, no, no. They’re out: right out.

What else?

Photos. Yep, I’d ban photos. Why is it that the second you step off a ride someone wants to sell you a mug with a picture of you screaming on it? I can understand the appeal when it’s a ride like Rita, Queen of Speed, but when you’ve just hopped off the Squirrel Nutty Ride I think photographic evidence is bit over-the-top. No one’s putting that on their mantlepiece.

That brings me, rather neatly, to the Squirrel Nutty Ride itself, yes I’d ban that too. Yes, I know it’s a ride for little children. It lets them “travel in their very own acorn”, but I maintain that this wasn’t made clear to me at the time… the boys from the stag do still won’t talk to me.

You know, I’ve got quite a taste for all this banning lark, it turns out… I’d ban queues, I’d ban bum bags, I’d ban loud noises, I’d ban really scary rides, I’d ban the lot.

Sorry about that. I seemed to got a bit carried away there. Anyway, if you have any suggestions about what you’d like to see banned from Britain’s theme parks add it on here, I’m drafting the letter as we speak…

There are so many fantastic parks to chose from and a whole range of fun rides to try out. However, as we all know, kids can get easily excited and are often tempted to run off if they see things they like. But do not fear, with just a few small preparations you can enjoy a fun-filled day out, knowing you have taken measures to keep your kids as safe as possible.

Picture: 'J'@flickr

There are several things you can do to prepare for your day out before leaving the house.

Dress in bright clothing
On the morning of your theme park adventure, dress your children in bright colours and take note of what they are wearing. If they are young enough to let you dress them all exactly the same, without feeling less “hip” then go for it. You want them to stand out in a crowd so it is easy for you to see them at all times. I once took three boys to Gullivers Land in bright orange t-shirts and it really worked like a charm, even when one of them tried to hide behind a fence.

Wear identity bands
It is a wise idea to place a discreet identity band around your child’s wrist, including their name and your mobile phone number. That way if the first thing they do is run towards the most sparkly object they can see and get lost amid a crowd of people, they will hopefully be returned to you in no time.

Avoid named clothes and accessorise
Although an identity band is recommended it is not a good idea to dress your kids in attire which displays their name in an obvious way. For instance avoid those headbands which spell out names in glitter and personalised football strips. If a stranger approaches your child using his or her name, they might be more inclined to follow the person.

Use code words
Before you arrive at the theme park, agree on a code word that everyone must learn. Tell the children not to go off with anyone unless the person knows the code word. The chances that a stranger will guess the correct word are very low and the children will learn about stranger danger.

Here are some great tips to keep safe once at the theme park

Picture: audi_insperation@flickr

Agree on a meeting place
When you arrive at the theme park, decide on a meeting point to return to if you get lost. Use the tallest, brightest attraction in the park as your meeting point because this can be seen from long a distance.

Chose appropriate rides
Use common sense when you are at the park and only go on rides suitable for both you and your children, as you never want to leave children alone while you go on the attraction. Obey height and weight limits and always make sure your children have seen the ride before taking them on it. Having a child screaming all the way round is not ideal.

Use suncream, wear hats and refuel
Especially on hot, sunny days it is vital to use suncream, particularly on children as they burn very easily. You will be out in the sun a lot at a theme park so make sure you reapply the cream regularly. Hats will also shade faces and protect scalps. Even if the weather seems dull or windy be careful, because you may get wind burn or not realise how hot it is if there are clouds in the sky.

Drink plenty of water as dehydration is very dangerous. Youngsters will use a lot of energy when they are excited and need to keep hydrated and well fed so they don’t feel unwell.

If you forget to bring suncream or water, there should be cafes and gift shops spread around the theme park where you can purchase these items.

Stay safe this summer with a little forward planning and sensible thinking. Enjoy a fantastic day out at one of the many theme parks in the UK, without too much worry, thanks to these great safety tips.

As per usual, the boffins at the Met Office are forecasting that the rest of the summer’s going to be a bit of a wash out. As the early dreams of a barbecue summer start to fizzle out in the incessant showers, we have a look at the best indoor attractions around the country.

Blighty, it seems, has rather picked up a reputation for rain these-days. Luckily, the UK boasts all sorts of educational and quirky indoor attractions that are perfect for youngsters… and some of them I’m sure you’ve never heard of.

One oft-overlooked venue in the south-east is the London Motor Museum. Perfect for young tearaways who like speed and petrol and cars, the LMM is just a short drive from LEGOLAND Windsor. Open seven days a week, the LMM has loads of classic cars on display and all manner of activities to offer families looking for a touch of adventure. Information about the LMM can be found at their rather cool website or via phone on 0800 1950777.

Attractions at the LMM include the Show and Shine days and car rides where visitors can get to cruise around in a pink Cadillac or a Pontiac 79 and really now what it feels like to ride in a classic motorcar.

Another unsung hero of the museum fraternity is Ford Green Hall in Staffordshire. A brief hop from Alton Towers, the stunning 17th century farmhouse offers visitors a fascinating insight into British history. Exploring the farmhouse, dressing up, trying craft activities, kids are never at a loss for things to do at Ford Green Hall.

If a day trip around one of England’s architectural treasures doesn’t sound like your cup of tea then perhaps the RAF museum is more your sort of thing.

A little more of a drive away, the RAF museum at Cosford is perfect for kids looking for an exciting day out. Immerse yourself in the history of air combat and relive the bravery of some of the British Armed Forces most vital battles. With free admission, a day drip to RAF Cosford could be the perfect way to add a touch of sparkle to that wet summer afternoon.

For families spending a summer break at Chessington World of Adventures, a trip into the city might be the perfect antidote for a miserable summer. The OUTSTANDING Natural History Museum, or the Tate Britain are simply unmissable if you’re taking a tube into the capital. With no admission charge, you basically can’t go wrong with public museums in London.

The Science Museum, the V & A, The National Gallery, the National Portrait Gallery, The British Museum. With years of experience, the tours and activities that these places offer for children are really quite excellent. Call ahead to check times and for any additional costs, but if you’re with the family on a wet day in the capital, there really is no substitute than a walk around one its world famous attractions.

Okay, so the National History Museum or the Science Museum are hardly ‘best kept secrets’ but if you haven’t been, they still are worth checking out  once at the very least. After all, they have the reputations that they do for a reason!

Of course, you might not be able to make any of these attractions this summer but, if you are thinking about taking the family away for a short break, I wouldn’t be too deterred by the weather. Get on the internet and have a little scout around the surrounding area – there’s bound to be something to do to get your mind off the drizzle!

A little organisation goes a long way and as a result I’ve tapped out this helpful guide to make sure that your family trips are vastly improved this summer.

Clothing
Two things should be accounted for when packing clothing; the weather and emergencies.

As the weather is ever-changing in these days of global warming, my advice is to take an assortment of weather-protecting gear including: raincoats, jumpers, shorts etc.

With regards to handling emergencies extra underwear is the key. Pants, socks, tights… bring extra of everything. After all, you never know.

Essentials
It is more often than not the simplest yet most essential of possessions that are left at home, subsequently causing massive hassle. I’m arming you with an essentials check list to ensure that you don’t end up dragging yourself all around the world on a mad hunt for a toothbrush, which eventually ends up costing £300 and tasting mildly of badgers.

The List:
Tickets, discount vouchers, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, medications, sun block, clothes, identification, entertainment box, snacks, bottled water.

Security
Packing for security is the same thing as packing for emergencies – ensure that everyone has their own little emergency pack that they carry with them at all times. A bumbag or backpack should do the trick nicely and should contain:
1) Communication device.  It doesn’t matter which, either a mobile phone or walkie talkie should do the trick nicely.
2) Emergency cash stash.
3) Identification – I’m not suggesting you hand your kid their passport and then allow them to roam free but I do recommend a youth ID card or simply a self-made photocard with information such as your name, their name, address etc just in case they should become separated from you.

I once read an amazing story where this lady lost her child at Disneyland, but was able to find him quickly because they had a system. He wore an id bracelet with his name on one side and her name and contact information on the other side and he was able to go to a store and have the shop assistant contact his mother promptly. Proof that these systems help and work.

Entertainment
I mentioned this in the essentials list simply because trips aren’t really interesting if you are not driving. Fact: There are only so many times “Are we there yet?” can be asked before your sanity reaches breaking point. And scenery doesn’t change often enough as a general rule to make trips more interesting.

That being said I suggest making up a portable entertainment centre complete with toys, games and books that are appropriate for car, train and plane journeys.

99.9% of the time “bling” looks ridiculous.

We’ve all seen the greasy youths hanging around shopping centres dripping in cubic zirconium. Their ghastly medallions sparkling like broken glass, not diamond, and their ears drooping from the weight of the glittery pebbles they’ve ill-advisedly attached.

These poor lost souls lurk in packs in dark corners, lording it over their urine-scented urban kingdoms. Their Lizzie Duke bling marking them out as overlords of  the doorway of the abandoned Woolies.

Somewhere, hidden from public view, a brave 0.1% are doing bling properly.  They are “blinging” the LEGO way.

There’s plenty of LEGO jewellery out there (just have a look on etsy.com) but LEGO bling, that’s a different matter. Full-on bling should have diamonds or gold or lashings of silver at the very least. Those materials are generally not included in your standard LEGO box so some clever folks have done some very outside the box thinking. BEHOLD!

1) The Golden Memory Stick of LEGO Goodness

Apparently when LEGO celebrated 50 years of interlocking plastic brick madness they released special gold coloured bricks. Creative folk leapt upon these shiny blocks and made all manner of wonderful LEGO creations, the best of these being the LEGO memory stick.

As a rule, you can NEVER have enough memory sticks. I have them littered all over my house, a few on my desk, one in the car and one in my man-bag, just in case. These days you never know when you’ll need to shift photos or music or work around the place to it pays to have lots of portable storage and if said storage can be made of golden LEGO then well, everybody wins.

Surprisingly for something so shiny, this LEGO techno-bling only costs around £19.

2) Jacqueline Sanchez’s Hinge Bracelet

Jacqueline Sanchez is BRILLIANT. She makes proper LEGO bling, she even adds the occasional diamond. The only downside is that her creations cost a fair amount, this particular bracelet (that I totally want, just so you know) costs $750.

There’s not much else I can say about this particular little gem, the price is something of a sticking point but I guess that class costs $750.

3) Mario LEGO Mega Bling

Mario is cool. LEGO is cool. Which means that when you combine the two you can be pretty sure that the result is going to be pretty sweet and lo, it is.

This stylin’ gentleman has taken the Flava Flav look and run with it. I have no idea if he made this beautiful creation or if he just bought it but either way, double thumbs up! Note the coordinated necklace, earring and sweater, now THAT’S attention to detail!

When I think of LEGO® I think of castles first, closely followed by forests and then pirates. Many I’m sure, would think of Star Wars and a scant few would think of massive architectural wonders like the almost 6000 piece Taj Mahal set.

Apparently I’m lacking creativity. Rather than spaceships, pirate galleons and suchlike, Craig Stevens of Croydon ambitiously attempted to build Queen of the Undead, Amy Winehouse, from LEGO, in under a week!. He said “Amy’s distinctive features made her a good choice to make out of Lego.”

I assume Mr Stevens meant that Amy has considerably more right angles on her than most people and thus is far easier to make out of interlocking plastic bricks.

As you can see, Mr Stevens put in a valiant effort, his sculpture has a beehive and…and…legs, yes to some extent it has legs. At least there’s no danger of this version of Ms Winehouse getting wasted and running around with her top off.

The statue was build for Croydon Fashion Festival, I could be mean about the very concept of such an event but I’ve already suggested that a pop star may be the ever-living sovereign of the zombie hordes, so I’ll leave it.

Just in cast you were not terrified enough already, here’s a full sized one for you: