What’s new at Alton Towers in 2012?

Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs – the 4-D Experience
This family-friendly immersive Ice Age experience will open in Cloud Cuckoo Land on 24 March. Fans of the hit Ice Age series will love the amazing combination of 3D footage based on the third Ice Age film and fun physical effects which transport you straight into the super-cool world of Sid and Scrat.

Speaking of Sid and Scrat, be sure to keep an eye open for them, as they’ll be wandering around Alton Towers Resort to meet you and your family.

Nemesis Sub-Terra
Buried deep beneath Alton Towers Resort, a brand-new attraction is waiting patiently for the first brave explorers to step foot inside. The new subterranean scarefest is named Nemesis Sub-Terra and will take visitors on a heart-stopping journey through a network of catacombs. The attraction is based on the back story of the smash-hit Nemesis rollercoaster, which opened in 1994.

The new attraction’s scare factor is being carefully controlled by the Park’s new Director of Fear, death-defying adrenaline junkie Jack Osbourne. Be the first to experience Nemesis Sub Terra, book an Alton Towers ticket and hotel package with Play and Stay.

Coming soon to UK theme parks: Magma, Nemesis Sub-Terra, Ice Ice 4D Experience and The Swarm

What’s New at Thorpe Park in 2012?

The Swarm
Experience The Swarm – the UK’s first Wing Rider rollercoaster – at Thorpe Park in 2012. The new rollercoaster promises a thrilling flight through an apocalyptic wasteland on the wings of an invading swarm of planet-destroying baddies.

You’ll experience heart-stopping near misses and adrenaline-pumping inversions as well as a unique, head-first 127ft drop. War is coming…are you ready?

What’s New at LEGOLAND Windsor in 2012?

The LEGOLAND Windsor hotel
A brand-new hotel is opening on-site at LEGOLAND Windsor in 2012 and it’s certainly shaping up to be an incredible destination for family short breaks.

With child-friendly features including secret whoopee cushions, exploding toy boxes and treasure trails as well as Pirate, Adventurer and Kingdom themed rooms, there’s plenty to keep the family busy at the LEGOLAND Windsor hotel. Play spaces, a splash pool and regular children’s entertainment complete the package.

LEGO Star Wars Miniland Experience
The Force is coming to LEGOLAND Windsor in 2012. Seven of the most famous scenes from the six live-action Star Wars movies and one from the animated Star Wars: The Clone Wars have been recreated in 1:20 scale using 1.5 million LEGO bricks.

What’s new at Paultons Park in 2012?

Magma
The mysterious Magma is due to open at Paultons in 2012. Very little is known about it other than its name and the fact that it will be volcano-themed. Some suspect that Magma is more likely to be a thrill ride since Paultons recently added Peppa Pig World for the younger guests, but nothing is confirmed.

Want to try out any of these new attractions for yourself? Book a Play and Stay ticket and hotel package today.

The facts:

• The new ride is codenamed LC12, but we all know it as THE SWARM.
• THE SWARM will be the UK’s first winged rollercoaster.
• It will feature a “head first, inverted drop from 127ft”.
• The theme will be post-apocalyptic. Considering that there’s been an army tank outside of THORPE PARK with ‘WAR IS COMING’ written up the side for ages, it’s likely that the story will be humanity’s last stand against something unpleasant.
• It will be located next to Stealth.
• It will be accessible via a wooden bridge.
• The attraction’s highest point will be 36.8 metres about ground level.
• Theming will include a “rickety jetty”, a helicopter, a crashed articulated lorry and what seems to be the crashed remains of some sort of aeroplane or rocket.
• The coaster will be located on its own island

What’s a winged rollercoaster? Does it fly?
Typically, rollercoasters have carriages which keep riders positioned directly above or below the track. If you ignore all the fire and jet engines in the above image, you can clearly see that THE SWARM’s carriages are positioned to either side of the track, leaving nothing but empty air above and below you. In essence, you are sitting on/in the ‘wings’, which should make a nice change from the standard coaster layout. Disappointingly, winged coasters don’t fly.

What are other winged rollercoasters like?
Gardaland’s Raptor looks reasonably similar to plans for THE SWARM and it seems to impressing coaster fans. The main appeal of the winged design seems to be the opportunity for designers to include plenty of near-misses with the scenery. Think of the spinning blades at the bottom of the drop on SAW – The Ride, Raptor features loads of stuff like that, and you can bet that THE SWARM will, too. The interplay between the carriage, riders and scenery appears to be the key to a successful winged coaster.

Just who/what are THE SWARM’s swarm?
Not a clue. Aliens? Bugs? Alien bugs? The word swarm can be applied to pretty much any creature that gathers in large numbers, though the chances of the ride being themed around a destructive swarm of killer penguins is slim. If I had to guess, I’d assume that it’s aliens.

When does THE SWARM open?
Spring 2012. THORPE PARK ticket and hotel package are available from Play-and-Stay.co.uk, book now to be among the first to ride THE SWARM!

The hotel facilities include an outside play-area, a video games room and a Thomas & Friends Theatre, and with 11 magical Thomas & Friends-themed bedrooms, kids won’t be able to wait for bed-time!

Drayton Manor hotel is one of the few hotels worldwide to offer these captivating Thomas & Friends themed family rooms. On arrival, young guests will receive special Thomas & Friends welcome packs, before following the train tracks on the carpet to their bedrooms, complete with Thomas & Friends-themed bunk beds complete with built-in DVD players, as well as a comfortable double bed for Mum and Dad. Young guests are also invited to the Fat Controller’s story time in the Thomas & Friends Theatre, and afterwards can choose from the library of books and DVDs available from reception.

And why not top off the ultimate Thomas & Friends experience with a visit to Thomas Land, situated just moments away from the new resort. The Island of Sodor is brought to life in this exciting attraction, which includes 12 themed rides and a spectacular indoor play area. Kids can take a jaunt full-steam-ahead on Thomas, Percy or Rosie, followed by a wild ride on the Troublesome Trucks Runaway Coaster.

Thomas Land is part of Drayton Manor Theme Park, which caters for thrill-seekers of all ages, from the very young to the young-at-heart. Fans of the white-knuckle thrill-ride can enjoy Shockwave – Europe’s first stand-up rollercoaster or Apocalypse – named Britain’s scariest ride by Channel 5’s The Gadget Show – among other electrifying attractions. Also, new for 2011 is the Ben 10 Ultimate Mission, perfect for fans of the hit TV cartoon.

Drayton Manor Theme Park also includes the 15-acre open-plan Drayton Manor Zoo, which boasts over 100 species including big cats, reptiles, owls, monkeys and parrots, as well as a children’s farm and 12 endangered species – a must-see day out for any animal lover.

With so much to enjoy for all the family, one day simply isn’t enough to experience all the excitement Drayton Manor Theme Park has to offer. Drayton Manor Hotel offers you the opportunity to make the most of all the family fun available, giving kids a chance to continue their adventures during their overnight stay while parents can relax and unwind in comfort and style.

Somewhat intrigued by the idea of a theme park based around the Ferrari, I went on a mission — to find a selection of other weird, wonderful and fascinating amusements parks. So brace yourself for robots, aliens, Lego and much more as I reveal my findings….

LEGOLAND:

Legoland Resort

Oh LEGOLAND! A family favourite and one I could not miss from this blog. Children over the years have had great fun building all sorts of wonderful Lego creations. So, what a great idea to turn a childhood favourite toy into a unique theme for an amusement park.

LEGOLAND has proven extremely popular worldwide with parks located in Germany, England, Denmark and the United States. Malaysia is also set to jump on the LEGOLAND bandwagon by 2012.

Suoi Tien Park:

Suoi Tien Resort

Diverting from Lego, I take you to Suoi Tien Park, a land of bright colours and Buddhas! Yes that’s right, this unusually themed park is based around the Buddhist religion.

Aptly named attractions such as Heaven Palace have somewhat distorted my previous conception of Heaven. I pictured chillaxing on clouds, however, here you splash around in a water park designed to look like the afterlife.

Think that sounds quirky? Well what about Hell Palace, similar but with frowning statues? Now I don’t know about you but I’m not sure if I could “let my hair down” and have fun if I am being glared at by sculptures. Will I face judgement if I visited Hell Palace over Heaven Palace? Where are the terms and conditions for this place?

On a happier note, the Tien Dong beach features an impressive sculpted waterfall, bearing the face of an emperor and you can even head over to Crocodile Kingdom, where you can feed some of the 1,500 live crocodiles. What this has to do with Buddha I don’t know.

Alien Apex Resort:

Alien Apex Resort

I never thought I would write about Lego, Buddha and aliens on the same day, but here I am. Fancy taking a trip to Roswell, New Mexico in 2010 for the opening of the Alien Apex Resort? I know what you’re thinking; how original! Yes I am afraid there are plans to place Roswell at the heart of alien activity once again after the famous incident in 1947.

Nevertheless the UFO-themed amusement park is said to include an indoor rollercoaster that’ll take passengers on a simulated alien abduction, which does sound sort of cool providing there’s no probing involved.

Robot Theme Park:

Robot Theme Park

Now, this I had to include. South Korea are intending to build two robot theme parks, with the first to be finished in 2013. Yes 2013 is a little while off but after all the theme is pretty “futuristic” (ha, at least I make myself laugh).

Robots are used in the nation’s key industries and the government are keen to promote the robotics industry. Apparently you will be able to see (what I can only picture as R2-D2 look alikes) compete in various events. Nothing screams “good day out” like watching robots in battle… right?

So there you have it, a selection of weird yet wonderful theme parks which exist or should exist soon. The question remains, what theme would you like to see as the basis for an amusement park?

Now, if you ask me – and no, no one has – this piece of legislation is long, long-overdue. The Speedo look might just pass on the Continent, but in Blighty it’s a bit rich isn’t it? Plummeting temperatures, the threat of a downpour constantly hanging over us like a drizzly sword of Damocles? Give it a rest. Those alpha males who took to Alton Towers in little more than a pair of briefs no bigger than your average train ticket must surely have been northerners, because, as a rather delicate southerner, there is simply no way I’d brave the outside after a dip in the pool in anything less than a full-body wetsuit, a scarf and thick woolen mittens.

Anyway, that rather grisly episode is behind us all now: history has closed the page on that menacing chapter.

The only question that remains is: why stop there?

Below is a list of things I’d like to see banned from Alton Towers. Feel free to tack some on at the end. We’ll get a list together, then I’m writing to Mr Towers…

Right, first up, I’d ban the selling, acquisition and the donning thereof of ponchos. I’m not talking about genuine ponchos, you understand; I’m not having a dig at the Hispanic overcoat of choice. No, I’m talking about the sorry excuses for ponchos that get handed around every time it gets a little bit damp. They are, effectively, shopping bags with eye-holes cut in. There is simply no way that one could protect you from one of Mrs Tittlemouse’s delicate sneezes, let alone a gale force storm. It’s preposterous:

Dad: The heavens have opened, let’s take shelter!
Mum: Don’t worry dear, I’ve got three-and-a-half yards of cling film here.

No, no, no. They’re out: right out.

What else?

Photos. Yep, I’d ban photos. Why is it that the second you step off a ride someone wants to sell you a mug with a picture of you screaming on it? I can understand the appeal when it’s a ride like Rita, Queen of Speed, but when you’ve just hopped off the Squirrel Nutty Ride I think photographic evidence is bit over-the-top. No one’s putting that on their mantlepiece.

That brings me, rather neatly, to the Squirrel Nutty Ride itself, yes I’d ban that too. Yes, I know it’s a ride for little children. It lets them “travel in their very own acorn”, but I maintain that this wasn’t made clear to me at the time… the boys from the stag do still won’t talk to me.

You know, I’ve got quite a taste for all this banning lark, it turns out… I’d ban queues, I’d ban bum bags, I’d ban loud noises, I’d ban really scary rides, I’d ban the lot.

Sorry about that. I seemed to got a bit carried away there. Anyway, if you have any suggestions about what you’d like to see banned from Britain’s theme parks add it on here, I’m drafting the letter as we speak…

Personally I always avoided Technic, it all struck me as unnecessarily complex and I always preferred pirate ships to working cranes. What can I say, I always aspired to be a swashbuckler, not a builder.

Anyway, I’m drifting off-topic. What I really wanted to tell you about is the new game from The Institute of Engineering and Technology (thankfully shortened to IET) as you may have guessed as I’m writing about it in a LEGO blog, the game is based on LEGO, LEGO Technic to be precise.

The game (called Cogitate) was apparently designed to promote IET Discover and Inspec Direct and I can assure you, it’s disturbingly fun (and also infuriatingly difficult).

Simon Thomson, IET’s publishing director seems to be delighted that Cogitate is proving so popular and that LEGO themselves have got on board:

“Interest in the game has exploded. It was developed using a high-tech physics simulator, so the possibilities are limitless. To add to the fun, the LEGO Company found the game so inspiring they have allowed us to use LEGO Technic pieces as some of the components in the virtual contraptions.”

Give it a go, so far I’ve reached the dizzying heights of level two www.theiet.org/cogitate

We’ve put together a list of the best spots to take your picnic blankets and cricket sets to in 2009. Take a look – if you are in the area they are well worth checking out. But we also want your suggestions for the best places to take the family for some al fresco munch.

Comment on this blog post with your ideas and we’ll send the three best suggestions one of these fancy new Play and Stay picnic rucksacks, containing:

• Four spoons, knives, forks, plates, mugs, wine glasses and napkins.

• Cheese/bread knife

• Waiter’s corkscrew

• Butter dish

• Thermo-lined cooler section at the back

So, here are our suggestions. Give us yours, along with your reasons for nomination, in the comment section below:

Clumber Park

In the northernmost part of Sherwood forest and less than 40 miles from Alton Towers lies the beautiful and Idyllic Clumber Park. With 3,800 acres of open green space, more than 20 miles of cycle routes to get lost along and Europe’s longest double avenue of lime trees, the park offers peace, tranquility and adventure all in one spot.

Photo by D-Kav

Groombridge Place and Gardens

Located just outside Tunbridge Wells in Kent, Groombridge Place and Gardens is one of the best places to spend a day with the family this summer. Although it is not the cheapest park in the area (tickets can cost as much as £10 per adult in peak months), there is so much to see and do when you arrive. For older children there are a number of big swings and for the younger children there are a number of play parks. A walk through the Enchanted Forest will bring you face-to-face with dinosaurs of varying ferocity and there are even two bird of prey shows at set times throughout the day at no extra charge. The Drunken Gardens offer a welcome rest at the end of the trail and were the inspiration and setting for the famous Sherlock Holmes novel, The Valley of Fear. It may be over an hour’s drive from Windsor, but it’s well worth checking out if you have the time.

Photo by J. Lane

Kedleston Hall

The grounds and gardens of this 18th century mansion are another stunning place near Alton Towers to enjoy a family picnic this summer. There are 820 acres of man-made park and four walks of varying lengths for you to wander along. With superb child-friendly facilities such as baby change rooms and hip-carrying infant seats for hire as well, Kedleston Hall is a great place to go on your summer holiday.

Photo by Fredspickchers

Richmond Park

Less than a ten minute car journey from Thorpe Park is Richmond Park – the largest Royal Park in London at almost 2,500 acres in size. It is home to more than 650 free roaming deer and offers a myriad of landscapes including hills, woodlands, ponds and gardens. There are a number of facilities designed to make your day out easier (cafes, lodges and refreshment points) and there’s also a playground great for the little ones to let off steam in. Hire bikes, get a fishing permit or try your hand at a spot of golf – there’s enough fun and games here to last for days.

Box Hill

Box Hill is an outstanding area of woodland and chalk downland located near to London and LEGOLAND Windsor. Better suited for the active family, this park has some truly breathtaking views over the South Downs from its many nature trails. After a steep incline, you will find a visitor centre at the summit which offers a great place to stop for a picnic. Box Hill is awash with day-trippers in the summer months, make sure you get there early.

Runnymeade Pleasure Grounds

The Runnymeade Pleasure Grounds is a relaxing riverside park with access to walks along the River Thames and local countryside. The park is a great spot for a family picnic and has a number of attractions to keep you all entertained including a playground, paddling pool, cafe and boat cruises. It’s only three miles from Thorpe Park and might just be the best way to relax after all those thrill rides.

Full competition terms and conditions

Normally I would leave this sort of thing to Jonathan Buckingham-Dudley, but he is far too engrossed in what is happening to Susan Boyle. So, for this instalment at least, you have the pleasure of my company.

First of all, a big thank you to Screamscape for supplying me with the crumb-trail. Without you, I really would have had no work to do this afternoon. And while for some that sounds like a marvellous thing, it doesn’t half make hometime a long way away.

There are three videos on YouTube at the moment. The beginnings of a new viral promotion or merely fan fiction? You decide:

Now, I don’t know about you, but I get the distinct feeling that Alton Towers are also going for something a bit spooky in much the same way Thorpe Park did earlier this year when they unveiled SAW – The Ride.

The difference being, of course, is that Alton Towers is aimed at a younger market – so we can expect it to be a little tamer than the aforementioned.

We also reported that the ride will have a backwards section, somewhat similar to Disney’s Expedition Everest ride (see above video). A quick glance at the plans below, which were submitted to the local council by Alton Towers, clearly shows the point where the ride stops its forward motion, in favour of a backwards section.

At this time, this is all we really have to go on, but fear not – we are on the case and will bring you all the latest as and when it hits.

Oh, and one last titbit for you. Here’s a video of the locals’ reactions to the ride. Some good, some bad. You can decide for yourself what you think.

This week, something architectural that’s not a really tall tower or even a fetching LEGO hat. It turns out that LEGO architecture goes further than just strengthening the walls of your LEGO castle so it can withstand siege from the LEGO pirates (something I still do on a regular basis).

Five of the best architects in Scotland (the spiritual home of the architect) have accepted a challenge to design a building using LEGO. At this point I’d like to offer you my opinion, if you don’t want it feel free to skip to the next paragraph. The thing about LEGO is it’s designed for building stuff. Why only last week I built an entire spooky village for no other reason than Hollyoaks was on and I couldn’t wrestle the remote from the missus. What I’m trying to say here is… it’s not really a challenge is it? It’s like giving Ferrari four wheels, and engine and some metal, and asking them to make a car.

The LEGO designs were showcased at the Scottish Design Awards Nominations Exhibition yesterday. The designs then will be auctioned off for charity some time in May. The money raised will go to a very worthy cause, the National Autism Society Scotland.

It feels good to be back.

2009 is not a good year if you are superstitious – TWO Friday the thirteenths in just two months? Surely nothing good can come from that. Can it? If you are a theme park fan, then the answer is yes. Well, sort of.

On Friday March 13, Thorpe Park champions its latest offering to the masses: SAW – The Ride. Based on the film franchise of the same name, the ride is the world’s first ever horror movie themed rollercoaster. Having watched the films and been left feeling rather queasy after a few scenes, I must say the thought of this ride is horrid.

Here’s why:
1. It has a past vertical 100 degree drop.
2. It reaches speeds of 55 mph.
3. It has a past vertical 100 degree drop.

While researching the ride, I stumbled across a few more facts: It will last one minute and 40 seconds from start to finish (queueing not included), has three inversions and cost a whopping £13.5m to build.

The cost is especially impressive when you find out how much the other new ride that opens on 13 March cost. We’ll get to this in but a moment. For now, my colleague and I are debating whether or not Thorpe Park had to pay a license fee for the ride, or if Lionsgate willingly gave the rights for free in return for future sales of the DVDs. Any of you guys know? Please let me know…

There is also some debate about whether or not SAW – The Ride is a worthwhile venture from the film industry, or if it’s simply a product of those marketing types looking to make a few extra bucks.

Also, in ten years time, will we actually remember the films, or will they be cast into the pit of forgetfulness along with the fizzy Nemesis drink that made its way into our vending machines in the mid 90s? (Look it up – it did exist.) Nemesis is still one of the best rides in the world – a true legend in fact, and SAW – The Ride looks set to be another major player in theme park land. There is no doubt in my mind that we will still be riding it ten years time – I am just not so sure I will remember anything of Jigsaw and his sordid ‘games’ with complacent victims.

The second ride opening this week is Edge at Paulton’s Park. If you haven’t heard anything about Edge, let me give you a brief description: It’s a big spinny-roundy disc that seats 40 people. Said disc then spins horizontally while moving along a 90 metre section of track at speeds of 43 mph. Back and forth, back and forth, I’m not entirely sure that anyone will be able to stand up or hang on to any lunch after riding the Edge.

The ride is another first for the UK – it’s the only one of its type here and the eighth of its kind in the world. Sure, Spinball Whizzer at Alton Towers does the same sort of thing, but that one actually goes round a proper ‘rollercoaster’ track and only accommodates four riders at a time.

Edge cost just £1m to build which, let’s face it, is nothing compared to SAW – The Ride. With the backing of Merlin, Thorpe can justify the spend. Paulton’s, on the other hand, can’t.

So where will you be heading this weekend? If you live near London, it’ll have to be Thorpe, but if you live near the New Forest – you’re surely going to Paulton’s. Me? I’ll be doing something far more cowardly, like stroking kittens, or watching Raven with my kids. Either way, you are going to need to take a packed lunch – the queues are going to be loooooooooong.