Back in the glorious early 90s when I was a lad, in the murky times before mobile phones or *gasp* the internet, LEGO was king. At my school your popularity rested on two things; 1) The quality of your bomber jacket and 2) The quantity of LEGO you owned.
Tragically my own bomber jacket was, to use correct 90s vernacular, naff. It was from a market. We weren’t poor, my parents just disapproved of bomber jackets and refused to pay more than a tenner for one. I overcame this enormous social handicap by having lots of LEGO, so much LEGO that on one occasion I attempted to make and dive/swim in a Scrooge McDuck moneybin – but with LEGO. It went terribly terribly wrong.
Although volume of one’s LEGO box (for it was invariably kept in massive plastic boxes on proud display in the corner of your bedroom) was important, it was not portable. To showcase your impressive collection on the playground you needed something small, yet something that showed how many different types of LEGO you owned, that something was the minifig.
Minifigs were awesome and the more unusual your collection the better. Some had hand-me-downs from the early days of LEGO, these old ones usually had stories attached to them. “My cousin won it in a game of Magic: The Gathering from this kid from Botswana, he said it was the only green spaceman ever made.” Stuff like that.
Everyone’s collection was personal, and everyone believes that theirs was the best despite mine clearly being better. I present to you, my five favourite LEGO minifigs!
5) Ice Planet pouting girl.
I can’t remember where I got her, I can’t remember where she is now but what I do remember is that, in my imagination, this plastic sex-bomb was Robin Hood’s girlfriend. Just how a bow-toting British folk-hero fell for a red-headed lady space-explorer I’ll never know.
4) Robin Hood (Forestman)
Having done a spot of research for this it turns out that Robin was actually just one of a collection of ‘Forestmen’. Hopefully Ice Planet pouting girl will still love him despite his life being a lie.
The best bit about Robin is that he had all his little accessories. Quite often Robin would swap his bow for Ice Planet pouty girl’s chainsaw and fell a few trees around Sherwood while she shot some baddies. Good times.
3) Merlin
Alas, these days good old Merlin will probably just get called Dumbledore. I have no quarrel with Dumbledore, in fact, after Captain Hook, Gore Lane and every gentleman explorer of the 19th century, he’s my hero. Merlin stood guard over my magical LEGO chest (a normal, non-magical LEGO chest filled with shiny pebbles).
2) The Shark
Always and without fail referred to as The Shark, this slightly unconventional choice was my bath-time LEGO pal. Any toys without flippers, fins or an obvious re-breathing system were banned from my bathtime. The Shark was scourge of the bubbles and once attacked and killed (broke) my sister’s Little Mermaid doll.
1) Mr Spooky (Ghost)
Ahhh, Mr Spooky. What adventures we had together, we haunted the LEGO castle, we haunted the fridge and we haunted the hell out of the dog. My relationship with Mr Spooky conclusively proves that letting children under 11 watch Tim Burton films alone is a bad idea.
If you think the top five from your own minifig collection are cooler than mine (you’re wrong) let me know and I’ll update the blog with a few of the better suggestions.
The comments box ladies and gents, it won’t bite.
On Friday March 13, Thorpe Park champions its latest offering to the masses: SAW – The Ride. Based on the film franchise of the same name, the ride is the world’s first ever horror movie themed rollercoaster. Having watched the films and been left feeling rather queasy after a few scenes, I must say the thought of this ride is horrid.
The second ride opening this week is Edge at Paulton’s Park. If you haven’t heard anything about Edge, let me give you a brief description: It’s a big spinny-roundy disc that seats 40 people. Said disc then spins horizontally while moving along a 90 metre section of track at speeds of 43 mph. Back and forth, back and forth, I’m not entirely sure that anyone will be able to stand up or hang on to any lunch after riding the Edge.
