Archive for November, 2009

LEGOLAND Survival Tips

November 17th, 2009

When we were invited to LEGOLAND by Play and Stay, I did what all responsible parents do in such situations—I asked proper, responsible parents for their LEGOLAND survival tips.

It proved to be a real life-saver. Theme parks are big, expensive places and some inside knowledge can really help you get the most out of your visit. Here are a few of my tips—some from other parents, some we learned ourselves. The hard way.


1. Get there early. Even during term-time, I was amazed to see how many cars were pouring into the car park ahead of us at 10am on a Thursday morning (the park opens at 10am during the winter season). You can pay £5 for priority parking but that’s for parking wimps, frankly. Get there for 10am and aim for car parks A, B or C.

2. On arrival, head down the hill for the driving school. It’s one of the busiest attractions and the queue is shortest first thing—there’s a great driving school for 6-13 year olds and a learner course for 3-5 year olds. Flea loved it.

3. There’s a ride in Duplo Land called ‘Extreme Team Challenge’ that you can’t really see until you get right to the front of the queue because it’s covered with shrubbery. Just so you know, it will involve you sitting on the floor of a small, wet dinghy and being hurled down a chute at 35mph. At the end of the ride, you will appear to have wet yourself. Take it from someone who has been there.

4. If you take a picnic, try and time lunch with a show at the Duplo Theatre—it’s a perfect picnic spot and next to the playground. The show when we visited was a pretty funny Pop Idol parody.

5. Right next to the Duplo theatre is an open area you might walk through to get to the playground. Be aware this will put you in the direct firing line of a series of water cannons wielded by small psychopaths—oh, alright, they’re just kids. But still, you might want to put your waterproof jacket on.

6. Save the wet rides for the end of the day. That’s really Pirate Falls at the bottom of the hill and Viking River Splash at the top of the hill. And take spare clothes for the kids to change into—or take our a second mortgage for one of the electric people dryers available on-site.

7. On Pirate Falls, the camera takes your photo RIGHT as you start down the big slope. Don’t close your eyes and scream like a fool—it’s not photogenic.

8. Measure the kids before you go. Most of the more exciting rides are only suitable for children over 1m and the staff measure every child every time, so knowing in advance will spare upset on the day.

9. The chocolate waffles are amazing. Especially when you’re cold and soggy after Pirate Falls.

10. Take an iPod for the Pirate Falls queue. They play the most annoying pirate music EVER on a loop, along with a video of something involving Justin from Mister Tumble. If you’re queuing there for half an hour (as we were) the iPod may be all that saves you from screaming insanity.

Single Parent Dad goes to Alton Towers

November 5th, 2009

Alton Towers is somewhere that holds many happy memories for me. From my childhood, when my mother used to take me with my sister; in my youth when I was free to go on my own with friends; and most recently when it became an annual trip for my late wife and I on her birthday.

Even though I have taken the boy all over the country to all sorts of places Alton Towers was not really on my radar as I simply discounted it as not age appropriate. We came close to going when they opened the hotel, and waterpark, which runs term-time specials for toddlers and their carers, but never got around to actually arranging a visit.

Then over the summer, some of our friends, who have a daughter nine months younger than my son, told me about what a great time they had at Britain’s biggest theme park. The thought of taking Max quickly entered my head, that is, after I had stopped teasing my friend’s daughter about ‘Alton Flowers’. “It’s called Alton Towers, not Alton Flowers silly,” she would say. “Then why did you call it Alton Flowers?” Was my jovial (or should that be juvenile?) retort.

So when Play and Stay offered to send us, I was intrigued to find out how much fun the Alton Towers Resort could be for a near five-year-old and his dad.

On arrival we discovered it is still extremely well organised, and also still a decent walk from the car park, but there is the monorail which I suppose counts as your first ride of the day.

If you’re feeling extra flush you have the option to pay £15 for priority parking, which means you can park right outside the entrance to the park. But as I am tight, I opted for the normal parking which still costs £5, which I must admit to still being a little miffed by.

Once inside we headed down Towers Street, and turned right for Adventure Land, which seemed like a great place to start for us. It turned out I was right. After a quick toilet break we were straight into the Berry Bish Bash, which is a sort of soft play area combined with firing squidgy balls at each other. My son thought this was hilarious, especially as one of the biggest targets – and thus most popular – appeared to be his dad. We also went on Old MacDonald’s Tractors, which I thought a little tame, but my boy obviously enjoyed pretending to drive a tractor.

The Beastie was higher octane, and we both enjoyed being thrown around on that. A quick drink and climb on some playground equipment, and it was time for lunch.  The excellent map lays out the great food choices available, and I opted to bribe my son with a KFC, in exchange for him thinking about going on Enterprise, a ride I had identified as enjoyable for me, and that he passed the minimum height requirement for. Sadly, while he agreed to go and have a look, his hesitance – and the queue – put me off.

No matter, as there were plenty of other rides for us to enjoy. We had a good time on the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ride, the Peugeot Driving School was an instant favourite for him, and there were more soft play adventures within Cloud Cuckoo Land.

Since being damaged by fire, the Skyride is still out of action, which is a mild irritation legs can get tired walking over the vast area the park occupies.

Alton Towers has an impressive Sea Life centre

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The obligatory water ride came in the form of the Battle Galleons, a very funny concept that lets you fire water cannons at targets and other parkgoers as your boat travels around. Our cagoules instantly became an excellent idea. After this, we needed warming up and, after fumbling for the right change, used one of the giant dryers. It was also an apt time to go and have a look around Sharkbait Reef, a new attraction for 2009, completed in collaboration with Sea-Life.

This centre adds to those we have visited in Birmingham and on Anglesey, and had a number of different attractions we had not seen before, which was an added bonus.

At Alton Towers there were plenty of rides we did not get to go on, like the Runaway Mine Train and the Rapids, but I fully expect to go back at some point and give them a try then.

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