Play-and-Stay Blog

While trawling the internet I stumbled across a wonderful little blog entry by those clever people at gizmodo. Somehow they managed to not only uncover one of the best kept secrets in LEGO history but get a tour round it!
Apparently there is a secret vault with almost every LEGO set ever made, still pristine, sealed and in the box. There are 4720 sets safely squirrelled away somewhere underground in Denmark, this modern buried treasure charts the evolution of LEGO: From its humble origins as simple red and white blocks to the complex robotics of the Mindstorms set (which I have wanted for a very long time, after writing this I think I’m going to pop on eBay and give the credit card a sound thrashing).
There is no doubt that the LEGO vault is quite possibly more important than the Svarlbard seed bank, its a wonderful collection that seems to prompt quite emotional responses. People remember saving their pocket money for the sets and long lost childhood memories come swimming to the surface when familiar boxes are presented to the camera, take a look for yourself and see if your icy heart is melted a little by some plastic blocks.

When you ask people where Disneyland is you generally get the same response, “Florida” however this is incorrect. Disneyworld is in Florida and Disneyland is in California, Paris, Tokyo and Hong Kong.
The newest, smallest and least well known of these parks is Hong Kong Disneyland (traditional Chinese: 香港迪士尼樂園).

Built on reclaimed land in Penny’s Bay, Lantau Island and jointly owned by The Walt Disney Company and the Hong Kong government, Hong Kong Disneyland is an unusual branch of the pervasive Disney empire.
Disney have had mixed results building parks outside of America, the Tokyo resort was largely well received. In contrast the Paris park was plagued by bad press and resisted by the locals with a well known Parisian stage director describing the park as a “cultural Chernobyl” and the park’s strict rules on staff appearance were perceived to oppose the strong individual liberty laws of France.

Keen to avoid another fiasco Disney designed the park as sympathetically as possible to local culture; incense was burned after the completion of every building and the parks layout was designed in accordance with the tenants of Feng Shui.
Some locals complained about the aesthetics of the park but thankfully the public mainly reacted positively, so positively in fact that the parks relatively low visitor capacity was to become its biggest downfall.

With a maximum capacity of  34,000 visitors per day Hong Kong Disneyland is the smallest of the Disney parks, this combined with the high population density of Hong Kong and the popularity of the Disney franchise in Asia resulted in some serious overcrowding problems. The Hong Kong government put pressure on the park to reduce its stated capacity to ease the problem but the park refused, instead extending opening hours slightly. The visitor capacity problem came to a head during Chinese New Year 2006 when visitors were turned away from the park despite bearing valid tickets due to the fact the park was already at full capacity. Visitors who were turned away attempted to force entry into the park and Disneyland was forced to heavily revise its ticketing policy around these busy times.

This incident permanently damaged the park’s public image, attendance dropped sharply and the park failed to meet its targeted visitor numbers resulting in the Hong Kong government refusing to put any more money into the park until it began to turn itself around. With heavy criticism for the park’s size and its lack of high profile attractions found in other Disney parks such as Paris and Tokyo the lack of extra funding may only serve to make the problem worse.

This year Disney will be adding a number of smaller attractions such as a version of its famous “It’s a small world” ride in an effort to boost customer numbers. It is possible that these more low-key attractions will boost numbers slightly but with the reputation of the park heavily damaged in Hong Kong it may take a far grander gesture to win the public over.

With Disney’s resources it is unlikely that any of their parks will ever completely close down, becoming a dark and scary real life episode of Scooby-doo, but the Hong Kong park certainly needs to pull its socks up to live up to the reputation of its overachieving older siblings, Florida and Tokyo.

Several months ago I made a super-secret undercover trip to Ireland, my mission was simple. To find and capture a leprechaun for the good of humanity. After 2 months of hiding under a rotting log disguised as a pile of bracken and surviving in a very manly Ray Mears manner I finally caught one of the little Irish bounders using a stick, some bacon and a Tesco carrier bag. My interest was not in his pot of gold, nor to scientifically study this fascinating new species but instead to gain a single wish.
Having bound and gagged the feisty little sprite I wedged him into my hand luggage and boarded my affordable Ryanair flight home. After a few weeks of “persuasion” using the Will and Grace season three DVD box-set on continual loop I finally got my wish. Thanks to me the single greatest occurrence of modern times has taken place, something that may well bring about world peace.

A Harry Potter theme park will be opening in late 2009 at Florida’s Universal resort, take the time to absorb that, rejoice and maybe high-five whoever is nearest you.
The new park will be called “The Wizarding World of Harry Potter” and will be the worlds first fully immersive Potter environment and it will be part of Universal’s Islands of adventure theme park in Florida which is already home to Marvel super-hero, Jurassic Park, ancient mythology, Dr Suess and Popeye based sections. Having personally visited the park a few times I can say that all the sections are of a very high standard, particularly the Marvel super-heroes area (where I once met Spider-Man). With such a good track record and the involvement of Warner Bros. the new park is set to be breathtaking.

Early artist renderings for the park look perfectly faithful to the films which in turn were a very good representation of what author, J.K Rowling described in the books so fans of both should be very pleased with the outcome (if Universal stick the the drawings.) The finished product should be a totally immersive environment including the wizard village of Hogsmeade, the forbidden forest and Hogwarts itself, which I can only presume won’t be a full replica. Surely it would be far far to large even in the parks 20 acre plot, but who knows with those wacky Americans.

Universal certainly have the staff to create something breathtaking. Stuart Craig, who was involved in the design for all the Potter films to date is heavily involved in the project which eases my initial fear that the park would become a ghastly Americanised parody. I for one cannot wait to charge around Hogwarts brandishing one of my selection of replica wands, hexing children left right and centre. Yeah, I know it won’t be real but I’m hoping the power of suggestion will at least cause a minor freak-out when I launch an Avada Kedavra at someone.

Attractions are apparently going to include a broad selection of rides which Universal are remaining tight-lipped about, J. K. Rowling let slip that one would be aimed at young children and the official Universal page promises “a state-of-the-art attraction that will bring the magic, characters and stories of Harry Potter to life in an exciting way that guests have never before experienced”
What this will be is anyone’s guess, it is worth noting that there is a very good immersive Spider-man ride in the Marvel section of Universal so personally, I am expecting something similar, perhaps a kind of 3-D effect ride/show combo or perhaps some kind of interactive ride, whatever it is no doubt it will be something special. The “never before experienced” part is particularly intriguing, will they be using some kind of new technology? With the boom in motion sensors and touch screens in consumer gadgets who knows, perhaps a Nintendo Wii style experience that responds to the riders movement. This is all speculation of course but please feel free to join in and leave your ideas for this mysterious new attraction in the comments section.

With such a massive fan-base, a near infinite amount of money and 20 acres of land to play with it is unlikely that Universal are going to get this wrong, their only obvious mistake so far has been not replying to my E-mail begging for a job and I can just about forgive that. I for one will be there as close to opening day as I can manage, Until then I think I’ll hassle my leprechaun some more.

Attacking the Times? That’s a tad rough isn’t it? Where would Britain and her Empire be without this most level-headed publication? Well, yesterday it all went a bit loop-the-loop, perhaps? In an article called “The Horrifying Cost of Britain’s Top Attractions” Chris Haslam tots up the price of some of the most popular theme parks and family resorts in the country to devastating effect. However, he’s quick to point out that he’s looking at the “hidden” extra costs like fast passes and gift shop prices.

Haslam launches into his piece like it’s a post-apocalyptic scene out of 28 Days Later or something. “Jason Green stood in the car park at Alton Towers,… looking slightly stunned.”
“I’ve just spent almost £400 on a single day out” he says, pasty and vacant no doubt. ‘Phhewww, that’s a bit steep!’ the readership gasp… but then we learn the full story. Haslam goes on about the hidden costs and examines how, with added parking fees, upgraded passes, snacks, drinks, a bundle of souvenirs, side shows and attractions and a slap up lunch at the restaurant, the price for a family of four attending somewhere like Alton or Chessington is astronomical. Now, hang on just one rootin’ tootin’ second there, this all seems a little silly doesn’t it? Because it seems to me that the premise is as follows: “Lets go to a major theme park, SPEND AS MUCH AS WE CAN, and then go ‘Wow! I can’t believe we spent so much!’”
You don’t need to break the bank to enjoy a theme park, just don’t go totally crazy as soon as you stroll through the gates: crying out loud, it’s not Supermarket Sweep! If you don’t want to spend an arm and a leg on pricey souvenirs then, well, don’t. Everyone knows what fickle little mites children can be, don’t buy them a load of guff they’ll consign to the attic the moment they get home. I can remember when I was a wee tiny person toddling around Alton Towers, ‘can I have this mum? I want one of those’, my mother was having precisely none of it.
At one point Haslam’s muse Jason Green claims, at working out that he will have spent £500 in one day, “A couple of years ago, I could have taken this lot to Greece for a week for less than that.” …… WHAT??! Flights to Greece, accommodation for a week, food, drinks, entertainment for a family of five for under £500?? That sounds like the sort of claim an elderly relative makes a Christmas, “Bah age of four an harf I were down’t mill working 32 hours a day.”

Of course, Haslam does balance the article out. He notes that pre-booking over the internet at Alton Towers, for example, is a fantastic way to save money and how to cancel out the need for a Fastrack pass. “Consider staying over” he advises, and enthuses about the “superbly themed” hotels.

So, what have we learnt? Well, firstly we’ve learnt that gift shops are expensive. Secondly, that money will burn a hole in your pocket if you let it, and thirdly, that if you’re thinking of going to Alton Towers think about chipping off to one of their hotels to notch up the best value-for-money experience. Job done.

Driving into LEGOLAND Windsor when you are over the age of 11 or so feels a little surreal, LEGO-men line the sides of the road lugging gigantic letters made of LEGO behind them, some of the little fella’s have built all manner of gadgets to speed up their graft. How they managed this without opposable thumbs and with limited access to tools is a mystery. LEGOLAND’s little plastic workforce somehow seemed cheerful despite the manual labour, I half expected a chorus of “High-ho” as I passed.

Once you have made it past the chirpy little guardians the whole effect of LEGOLAND was beautiful, even on the overcast Thursday I managed to visit. Set in the lush grounds of St. Leonard’s mansion, the place looked more like a child’s dream brought to life than a tourist attraction. The gardens alone are enough to hold even the most jaded city-slicker’s interest. Add to this the massive LEGO sculptures so freely spread around the park and you have an affect strong enough to regress a grown up well and truly back into childhood. I found myself poking and touching everything I could reach, determined to prove it was not all really made of LEGO. My efforts to squash the beliefs of a nation of children were quickly stopped when I realised at some point someone really has sat down and built life size Vikings and eight foot LEGO dragons. Needless to say as a big fan of building stuff I was deeply impressed (and a little jealous).

The first area I came to was the new Viking zone which, with its maze and spinning spider ride was clearly designed with the family rather than the thrillseeker in mind, this however detracted nothing from the atmosphere. It was a fun design with its very own gigantic LEGO spider suspended ominously over the riders. From the perspective of LEGOLAND’s target audience the whole effect really comes together, the park becomes much more than a mere collection of rides, it is the block-built world of every child’s imagination. The spider, rather than a cleverly arranged pile of bricks becomes instead a genuine threat to the riders above and it is up to the newly arrived LEGO adventurers to save Mums and Dads from the many legged menace.

Once you manage to work the rust from imaginative sections of your brain you thought long forgotten LEGOLAND becomes as fun as any thrill based park just in a very different way, it really lends itself to the kind of ironic, kitsch day out that really is very fun when nobody is looking. The Viking River Splash for example was a good chuckle despite the fact the little urchins who unfortunately have good reason to be in LEGOLAND are encouraged to attack riders with fence mounted high pressure water cannons which I’m almost certain shot water from the dubiously coloured river I was floating along. My demonic pre-pubesent attackers ruined my lovingly sculpted hair and somehow managed to focus on dampening my groin causing a kind of embarrassment I had not felt since the early 90s. The children of Windsor broke something inside me that day and my soul and my jeans may never be the same again.

This water based warfare is a common element of the park’s many rides with Wave Surfer, Boating School, Water Works, Pirate Falls and the Johnny Thunder adventurers’ show all offering a chance to get soaked, soak someone or at the very least gently dampen a relative or loved one. This brings me to the best part of LEGOLAND: Regardless of age, something so amazing and utterly brilliant that it deserves its very own park, merchandise and a spin off straight to DVD movie and this something is JOHNNY THUNDER ADVENTURERS’ SHOW!!! Words cannot describe the age transcending brilliance of this show but, as I’m paid to do this I’m going to give it a damn good try.
Johnny Thunder, the hero and star of this theatrical masterpiece appears to have just fallen out of Indiana Jones’ wardrobe, complete with styling hat and even a whip (though he could have potentially brought that from home, I was too starstruck to ask.) His main antagonist seemed to be the nameless “Aztec Queen” who had some kind of deliciously vague and evil plan. Her diabolical scheme seemed to involve a magic staff and a lot of cackling from the top of what appeared to be some kind of Aztec lighthouse surrounded by the same shifty looking water that had only just faded from my crotch. This entertaining plot coupled with choreographed fight scenes so cheesy they make Power Rangers look like House of Flying Daggers and a recorded dialogue the “actors” enthusiastically mime along to makes for truly wonderful viewing.

This may sound like cruel sarcasm but it really was very entertaining and the stunts the guys were performing were actually very cool especially when it’s kept in mind it was cold and their weekday audience was not up to the parks usual heaving weekend standards. They back flipped from a thirty odd foot lighthouse thing into a chilly looking pool and they did all this smiling with a sense of fun that was so infectious I found myself actually caring about the outcome of their epic struggle. Should any of the Johnny Thunder cast read this blog I salute you, you people are, without doubt, the best thing in LEGOLAND and this includes the giant LEGO Hagrid in the shop!
After I had calmed down and made myself the solemn promise that one day I would be Johnny Thunder, The Dragon roller-coaster was my next port of call. Thankfully due to the fact I went on a Thursday and there were no half-terms, inset days or other random excuses children always seem to have to not be in education the line was blessedly short. Should you be forced to wait in line however its not all that bad. Designers have obviously spent a lot of time planning distractions for little people with a short attention span. Yet more LEGO sculptures adorn every possible place in the waiting areas, with some rides even providing vast troughs of LEGO and DUPLO for children and parents alike to entertain themselves with while they wait.

I think The Dragon’s scary factor can be summed up by the fact a very pregnant lady who was with me on my LEGO adventure rode it…..twice….
Ordinarily this would be a cardinal sin for a roller-coaster but as we have already established LEGOLAND is no ordinary theme-park. The ride is filled with some of the most breathtaking sculptures the park has to offer. One can only imagine how many hours have been spent creating the feudal dioramas and dragons complete with smoking lips and an aura of palpable menace.
Given my choice of carriage-mate I am only too glad LEGOLAND chose to stick to their family friendly business style in the design of this ride. Delivering a baby in a large plastic dragon in the middle of Windsor surrounded by tiny people who list Dora the Explorer and Spider-man as their heroes were definitely not on my to do list.
With the only alternative to The Dragon, the Jungle Coaster, temporarily closed LEGOLAND offered little else in terms of white knuckle riding but as I have said already, this really is not the point of the park, its fun, its awesome from a technical and artistic point of view and lets be honest who does not love LEGO?
The best example of LEGOLAND’s amazing use of their own product was most certainly Miniland, a display of famous buildings and monuments made completely from normal LEGO bricks, no cheating could be seen (and believe me I looked.)

After the initial wow factor wore off it was all I could to to suppress my desire to wade into the painstakingly sculpted tiny kingdom and destroy it all, everyone knows the most fun part of LEGO was always breaking it and with sculptures so big the desire to begin a flurry of destruction was almost too much. Fortunately at the peak of my destructive impulses I noticed a little LEGO Dalek cunningly hidden among mini-London and this distracted me enough to break my unhealthy chain of thought. If it were not for that little Dalek I would currently be in LEGO jail after going on a Godzillaesque rampage and leading an army of children in an frenzied assault against LEGO Canary Wharf. Thank you little friend, you saved my day.
It is these tiny touches which set LEGOLAND apart from other, similar days out. They really do take their theme very seriously indeed and this devotion shines through as you look around the park. Trees have angular little plastic squirrels nestled just low enough to see, just high enough to be out of reach. Bushes and shrubbery conceal all manner of LEGO critters from life-size lions to realistic pheasants and much of the landscape has been subjected to loving manicuring and sculpting to reflect the blocky paradise. LEGOLAND has taken the term “theme-park” and gone the extra mile to ensure all who attend have a experience to be remembered.

All in all I got lots more from LEGOLAND than I had expected, it would seem the key to a grownups only day out there is to try and go on a weekday and to look around you, the sculptures are more than just scenery they are hours of someone’s time, maybe even art. Also I advise you say “legotastic” as much as physically possible while your there. It feels good.