Play-and-Stay Blog

When I think of LEGO® I think of castles first, closely followed by forests and then pirates. Many I’m sure, would think of Star Wars and a scant few would think of massive architectural wonders like the almost 6000 piece Taj Mahal set.

Apparently I’m lacking creativity. Rather than spaceships, pirate galleons and suchlike, Craig Stevens of Croydon ambitiously attempted to build Queen of the Undead, Amy Winehouse, from LEGO, in under a week!. He said “Amy’s distinctive features made her a good choice to make out of Lego.”

I assume Mr Stevens meant that Amy has considerably more right angles on her than most people and thus is far easier to make out of interlocking plastic bricks.

As you can see, Mr Stevens put in a valiant effort, his sculpture has a beehive and…and…legs, yes to some extent it has legs. At least there’s no danger of this version of Ms Winehouse getting wasted and running around with her top off.

The statue was build for Croydon Fashion Festival, I could be mean about the very concept of such an event but I’ve already suggested that a pop star may be the ever-living sovereign of the zombie hordes, so I’ll leave it.

Just in cast you were not terrified enough already, here’s a full sized one for you:

This weekend, armed with three tickets, a picnic and big dreams of reliving last year’s fun, I took the family to Legoland for the day. The sun was shining, Stanley was practically wetting himself with excitement and the lovely Mrs Lane was no longer “with child” - fun times were ahead.

Last time we went to the park, Land of the Vikings had just opened and the place was packed. We queued for up to 45 minutes to get on some of the better rides.

Now, I’m not sure if it was because of the new area, Kingdom of the Pharaohs, or if Legoland just wasn’t as busy as before, but the queues were significantly smaller this time round. A quick look at the board on entry showed waiting times were reduced to 15 minutes on average. Was it because there were more rides to choose from?

Anyway, we took advantage of this and went on as many rides as we could while trying to sample the few we didn’t make it on last time around.

And we did it as well. This made me realise that Legoland Windsor is actually a great place to take the family for a short break as well as a day out destination. The only ride we didn’t get on was Jungle Coaster - at five years old, Stan was still slightly too small to go on it.

If there was one attraction that was the highlight of our day, it had to be the Bob the Builder show in 4D. It was only 15 minutes long, but the show was actually (as my boss would say) awesome. I won’t spoil it for you, but I will say this: the effects were spot on and there is a lovely little surprise at the end of the show.

We left the park at 7pm (the same time as every other Tom, Dick and Harry) and proceeded to sit in the car for another 30 minutes as we tried to get out. If you like traffic jams, you can stop reading now. But, if you want to escape the rush, hang back for a short while. Eat some food, wander round the shops for a bit, practice speaking foreign languages - whatever - the point is, leave later. You will escape the crowds and still get home at the same sort of time.

Legoland Windsor was nothing short of brilliant once again - I really can’t stress how great the place is, you just need to go there and see it for yourself. If you have small children and live the South, there is nowhere better to take them for a treat. I look forward to going back there next year when Stan will be old enough to ride the Jungle Coaster and checking out the new zone for 2010.

SAW: The Ride has to be one of my favourite rollercoasters of all time. I love the ride itself, the only drawback is the queue but waiting in line for a little while is a small price to pay. When you get to the front and start getting ready to get on the ride itself, the queue suddenly becomes worth the wait.

 When you sit down on SAW: The Ride you don’t really know what to expect because when you are queueing up, you only see small bits of it.

When your carriage first starts to move you expect there to be something like a sharp turn or a vertical climb, but it’s even worse. SAW: The Ride starts off with a calm 180º turn to the right, fooling you and making you think that the ride is calm but just as you start to relax there is a vertical drop right after the turn. Straight after the drop there is a sequence of sharp turns to the left and right, and there are also some small hills, just enough to unsettle your stomach ever so slightly. You then go around the first loop which thankfully, looks far worse that it is.

Soon after you get to the scariest part of the ride. You slow down until you are at a stand still, and then the chain hooks onto the underneath of the carriage and you begin a slow vertical climb which takes you to the top of the ride. This is where things start to get a bit more scary because as you get to the top, you dont have enough time to even say a word and you immediatly get unhooked from the chain. 

You plummet down a 100 foot, 100º drop passing underneath loads of spinning axes which are very close to your head. When you have passed those you start a big loop which makes you feel like you are about to fall out of the seat. Once you have gone through the loop you go through various different drops and do many sharp turns and corkscrews until you reach the end of the ride.

 When you step out of the ride you may not realise it but you are still screaming and you can barely stand up on your own legs, but then you come to your senses again and tell everyone that the wait is really worth it and that the ride is epic.

Published by: Alex Zerbino - The Harvey Grammar School

Back in the glorious early 90s when I was a lad, in the murky times before mobile phones or *gasp* the internet, LEGO was king. At my school your popularity rested on two things; 1) The quality of your bomber jacket and 2) The quantity of LEGO you owned.

Tragically my own bomber jacket was, to use correct 90s vernacular, naff. It was from a market. We weren’t poor, my parents just disapproved of bomber jackets and refused to pay more than a tenner for one. I overcame this enormous social handicap by having lots of LEGO, so much LEGO that on one occasion I attempted to make and dive/swim in a Scrooge McDuck moneybin - but with LEGO. It went terribly terribly wrong.

Although volume of one’s LEGO box (for it was invariably kept in massive plastic boxes on proud display in the corner of your bedroom) was important, it was not portable. To showcase your impressive collection on the playground you needed something small, yet something that showed how many different types of LEGO you owned, that something was the minifig.

Minifigs were awesome and the more unusual your collection the better. Some had hand-me-downs from the early days of LEGO, these old ones usually had stories attached to them. “My cousin won it in a game of Magic: The Gathering from this kid from Botswana, he said it was the only green spaceman ever made.” Stuff like that.

Everyone’s collection was personal, and everyone believes that theirs was the best despite mine clearly being better. I present to you, my five favourite LEGO minifigs!

5) Ice Planet pouting girl.

I can’t remember where I got her, I can’t remember where she is now but what I do remember is that, in my imagination, this plastic sex-bomb was Robin Hood’s girlfriend. Just how a bow-toting British folk-hero fell for a red-headed lady space-explorer I’ll never know.

4) Robin Hood (Forestman)

Having done a spot of research for this it turns out that Robin was actually just one of a collection of ‘Forestmen’. Hopefully Ice Planet pouting girl will still love him despite his life being a lie.

The best bit about Robin is that he had all his little accessories. Quite often Robin would swap his bow for Ice Planet pouty girl’s chainsaw and fell a few trees around Sherwood while she shot some baddies. Good times.

3) Merlin

Alas, these days good old Merlin will probably just get called Dumbledore. I have no quarrel with Dumbledore, in fact, after Captain Hook, Gore Lane and every gentleman explorer of the 19th century, he’s my hero. Merlin stood guard over my magical LEGO chest (a normal, non-magical LEGO chest filled with shiny pebbles).

2) The Shark

Always and without fail referred to as The Shark, this slightly unconventional choice was my bath-time LEGO pal. Any toys without flippers, fins or an obvious re-breathing system were banned from my bathtime. The Shark was scourge of the bubbles and once attacked and killed (broke) my sister’s Little Mermaid doll.

1) Mr Spooky (Ghost)

Ahhh, Mr Spooky. What adventures we had together, we haunted the LEGO castle, we haunted the fridge and we haunted the hell out of the dog. My relationship with Mr Spooky conclusively proves that letting children under 11 watch Tim Burton films alone is a bad idea.

If you think the top five from your own minifig collection are cooler than mine (you’re wrong) let me know and I’ll update the blog with a few of the better suggestions.

The comments box ladies and gents, it won’t bite.

Hooray - festival season is finally here! Radio 1’s Big Weekend kick-started the shenanigans and was a rip-roaring success and by all accounts, it was a good start to a heavy season of getting messy in a field.

There was a time when I would have been travelling up and down the country all summer, looking for the best field to fall over in. Now, however, I am a family man and have two beautiful boys and a lovely wife to look after.

Does that mean I won’t be hitting the festivals this year? Hell no.

I will still be going, only this time, I will be on the hunt for family friendly festivals - you know, the ones with bouncy castles and face-painting stalls dotted around the place.

I also want to stay local, just in case things go wrong. It is the kids’ first festival after all, and while I may be a seasoned veteran, you never really know how they are going to take it.

So, that really leaves two festivals for us to try: Lounge on the Farm in Canterbury and The Hop Farm Festival in Paddock Wood. Seeing as my boss has kindly pointed me in the direction of the latter with the lure of a press pass, I think we’ll be going there. Oh, and 2 Many DJs are playing - quite possibly the nicest duo in pop. Can’t wait to interview them.

If you are like me, and you want to take your kids to a festival this year, why not have a look at the list below. I have put together a selection of the top ten family friendly festivals in 2009.

If you make it to any of them, drop us a line, we’d love to hear your stories.

Hop Farm Festival
Paddock Wood, Kent
4-5 July, 2009
Paul Weller, Editors, Doves, Echo, 2Many DJs, Scratch Perverts, The Mystery Jets, The View, The Fratellis
www.hopfarmfestival.com

Lounge on the Farm
Canterbury, Kent
10-12 July, 2009
Mr Scruff, DJ Format, DJ Food & DK, Edwin Collins, Cage the Elephant
www.loungeonthefarm.co.uk

Bestival
Isle of Wight
5-7 September, 2009
Massive Attack, Lily Allen, Kraftwerk, Doves, Bat For Lashes
www.bestival.net

The Cropredy Convention
Cropredy, Oxfordshire
13-15 August, 2009
Steve Winwood, Buzzcocks, Richard Thompson, Fairport Convention
www.fairportconvention.com

Cornbury
Cornbury, Oxfordshire
11-12 July, 2009
Scouting for Girls, Sugababes, The Magic Numbers, The Pretenders
www.cornburyfestival.com

Latitude
Henham Park, Southwold, Suffolk
16-19 July, 2009
Pet Shop Boys, Nick Cave, Doves, Gossip, Regina Spektor
www.latitudefestival.co.uk

The Big Chill Festival
Eastnor Castle, Hertfordshire
7-9 August, 2009
Orbital, Basement Jaxx, Norman Jay
www.bigchill.net

Camp Bestival
Lulworth Castle, Dorset
24-26 July, 2009
PJ Harvey, Will Young, Florence and the Machine, Mercury REv, Dan Black
www.campbestival.co.uk

The Secret Garden Party
Huntington, Cambridge
23-26 July, 2009
Jarvis Cocker, The Holloways, Dan Brown, Rodrigo Y Gabriela
www.secretgardenparty.com

The Wicker Man Festival
East Kirkcarswell, Scotland
24-25 July, 2009
The Human League, The Zutons, Idlewild, Billy Bragg
www.thewickermanfestival.co.uk